NYE

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy new year!

2011 in Review

In January I rang in the new year in a sloppy kind of drunk mess. Had to take care of some friends but I still would never forget it. I also had my first new years kiss in a few years. A few days later I traveled to Dallas to visit my brother and his family. We then embarked on the most epic road trip to New Orleans. We hit some pretty major cities such as Dallas-Austin-Houston-Galveston-New Orleans. We ate mufalettas and shrimp etfufee, drank grenades, and danced the night away. He also couldn't handle his liquor which ended up in me having to learn how to drive stick-shift through the backroads of Louisiana. I started another semester of college and finally declared my biology major after 3.5 years of school work. I got extensions and loved it :) I also tried ballet for the first time in about 15 years.  I also finalized my plans to go to Cabo for spring break with my friends. January was a pretty happening month!!

In February I ordered some betsey johnson goodies for myself since I had credit on amazon.com. I started the application process to obtain my passport in order to go to Mexico. On the downside I got a horrible sinus infection and I spent valentines day alone thanks to being single and have 2 exams. I was running a lot and trying to watch what I ate. I also camped out all night for basketball tickets to our school's biggest game of the year.

In March I complained a lot about how much I disliked my biochem lab. But I obtained my passport and was one step closer to spring break. I started contemplating about what to do after college as my dreams of optometry school seemed out of reach due to financial issues. I took a road trip up to Ventura with my roomie and a few days later I left for the most epic spring break trip of my life! I went on a 5 day cruise of san diego to cabo san lucas with 7 of the most amazing friends. No drama! Just relaxing, tanning, and drinking. Hands down a vacation I will remember for the rest of my life.

In April I started thinking more and more about my future. I stopped caring less about money and more about my happiness. Unfortunately, a good guy friend of mine overstepped his boundaries and we ended our friendship.  I just spend most of the month focusing on school and studying.

In May I was able to get a second job for the summer which turned into a job that I ended up keeping.  I stressed out over finals more than usual thanks to my computer crashing on me.  The majority of my friends graduated and some moved away. I started getting into a funk that remained with me for the remainder of the year. I felt like a complete mess all the time.

In June things really seemed to take a toll for the worst. Within a few days I had started 2 jobs, summer school, moved into a new condo, and my car broke down. That made me incredibly stressed out, to the point where I was breaking down everyday. I was however completely thankful for the people in my life and all their help! I couldn't have done it without them! I started talking to a boy that I liked a lot.

In July I could breathe a little bit easier. My car was back and money was a little bit better. I had gotten a hold of everything in my life, but not 100% completely. I was still in a funk. I started a relationship and had someone new to spend time with. Usually summer has been carefree and fun, but it never quite felt like summer.

In August I felt myself falling apart more. I was so angry about how everything was going with my life. I  wanted to be happy. But instead I felt angry that I was still in school, angry that I worked two jobs and was still broke, angry that I couldn't even keep a boyfriend (yup he broke up with me). I went home to visit my family, and went out to SF for a fun night with friends. I also got a new position at my job that paid more. And at the end of the month I started school even though I was completely dreading it and so over it.

In September school took over my life once again. I couldn't stand the fact that I still had to study like crazy all the time. I mentally would beat myself up. Things finally hit me when I realized my friends who had moved would not be coming back for the school year. I started talking to the ex again. I turned 22 and my birthday was a complete disaster to the point where it made me never want to celebrate another bday.

In October the museum was shut down to put in a new exhibit so I was off work for a few weeks.  I ended up getting a bacterial infection from my lab and had to go to the hospital. I didn't celebrate halloween because I had 3 exams the following week.

In November a friend came to visit for a few days. I didn't have too much time to complain about how much I hated school because I was busy studying like crazy and working on various projects. I went home for almost a week for thanksgiving.

In December I worked like a mad-woman the first few weeks thanks to finals and the end of the semester. I barely worked and had my co-workers cover my shifts so that I could study. I ended up doing really well on my finals and grade wise for the semester. I came home for a week and celebrated christmas at my aunt and uncles new house. The rest of my break consisted of being lazy and relaxing.

I'm not going to lie, my year started off amazing and then started going down hill. I don't expect life to be perfect, but for once I felt out of control of my own life. I started taking a step back and looking at all of my blessings instead of looking at what went wrong or "what if" something else had happened instead. It was overall a growing experience. I proved to myself that I was stronger than I've ever known. And even though I was angry and felt like giving up-- I didn't, I kept going. There is so much to look forward to in 2012 and so much that is unknown. If you ask me, where do I see myself in 6 months? I couldn't give you an answer. I don't know if I'll be in California or living in another state. I don't know if I'll be working or in school. So much is up in the air. But thats what makes life exciting, you can only plan so much because you don't know what will happen. Its all it gods hands.

Merry Christmas

Merry christmas everyone! So happy I got to spend time with my family, eat delicious food, and have lots of laughs. I feel like holidays are starting to become more and more about appreciating the little things and less about the materialistic things (which is how it should be).  This year has been a year full of experiences and learning, and I am happy to end this year on a good note. So thankful for everything and everyone in my life.

christmas wishes

I just cannot believe that we are five days away from christmas! Once again the holidays have just snuck up on me. Its been like this for the past five years thanks to being in college. December is usually when I'm the most busiest in terms of school, and then finals usually are so close to christmas that I just don't have enough time to mentally prepare for the holidays. I hate that :( But it will change one day.

Christmas has been really different for me the past few years or so. So much has changed this past few years, but I do not like to think about it in a negative way. I have grown these past years in so many ways, definitely for the better. I am not asking for much this holiday season, just some little things I could use. For example, a new camera battery and iphone charger. I am not expecting much. I am however, looking forward to lots of good cooking, seeing my aunts new house, and playing lots of fun games with my family. What are you guys looking forward to this christmas? What did you ask for?

Take the good with the bad; 2011 reflection

2011 hasn't been the easiest for me. Things were great the first half of the year--school, no work, vacations out of state and out of the country. But the very start of summer brought around a time of headache, pain, and confusion. I felt miserable, and like nothing was going to give. Summer is usually the best time of the year for me, but for once i felt like nothing was going right.  In one week I had started working TWO jobs, I started summer classes, I had moved into a new apartment, and my car had broken down on me and needed a $5,000 new transmission. I felt like things were not looking up at all. My whole goal in the summer was to work two jobs to save money for a new laptop (mine completely died a month earlier) and take summer classes. But with no way of getting to work and having no money to replace it, this seemed impossible. I was already behind on bills due to moving expenses and paying for summer school classes. I felt horrible. The only thing that was going right was a guy that I was talking to and was very interested in. For once my love life was actually going right, while it felt like the rest of my life was a mess.

In July I felt like I could breathe a little. I found out my insurance was able to cover the expenses of getting my car fixed. I also got my deposit back from my previous house which allowed me to catch up on my bills. For once things were better, even though they weren't great.  I worked my ass off, and went a month without a day off. Seeing friends & starting a relationship were the only things that kept me sane. I was so happy to have a boyfriend since it had been years since I was in a relationship. He made me happy and treated me well. Unfortunately, I found that my car was still having problems. And that having my car in the shop for over 2 weeks and replacing the transmission for $5,000 did not fix my car. I was completely frustrated.

But the rollercoaster of summer did not stop. The boyfriend that made me feel like the happiest girl in the world broke up with me shortly after, stating he didn't want to be in a relationship. I couldn't bare the fact that I couldn't even keep a boyfriend and blamed myself. Because there had to be something wrong with me. I continued working like a mad woman but was still broke. At the end of the summer I felt frustrated, physically & emotionally tired, and very unhappy with the state of my life. I kept wondering why this was happening to me. For once in my life I felt like a complete and utter wreck.

How can I sum up the rest of the year? Better but not great. For once my usual positive & optimistic thinking was thrown away. I hated the fact that I was still in school and it consumed my life. I hated that I felt out of control of what was going on with my life. I hated that I worked a lot but didn't have a lot of money. I did not want things to be perfect, I just did not want them to be the way they were. Seeing the happiness of friends made it worse. As they settled into their post-college lifestyles, I couldn't help but be jealous.  I always wanted to create a life of my own, being independent, making money, enjoying my job, and having free time to enjoy the company of friends and a boyfriend. This is not how I pictured my life at 22, and it made me unhappy.

As it approaches mid-december I finally see my thinking changing, and its changing my life for the better.  Its not necessarily that things have gotten drastically better, because I still feel like things aren't too far off from where they were just a few months ago. Its just that I've come to the realization of a few things: 

 1. Life is not perfect/Accepting things. I think I've become so wrapped in my good life, that I didn't really realize how good I had it until things changed. I was always comparing myself to the happiness of others. I always thought I didn't have it good because I didn't have any money, or because I had to work so much, or because I couldn't go on vacations, or because I had a hard major and was stuck studying all the time. I also complained about what I didn't have: No new clothes, no money to do fun things like go to a concert, a car thats broken, and no boyfriend to keep me happy. And thats fine. But I realized I had a lot more than most others. I had a roof over my head, a steady job, I can pay for most of my own bills, I am months away from graduating with a degree in biology, and i am blessed to be able to fill my refrigerator with food.

2. Giving myself more credit. I've said it many of times, that I feel like a mess. And nothing summed up my life more these past few months. I don't consider myself one of those girls that has all her shit together, because I definitely don't. And I think thats what I wanted so desperately for myself. I wanted to feel like I had it together, I wanted to feel in control. Seeing friends getting jobs after college, renting apartments by the beach, buying new cars, having love lives, and being grown up made me crave it so much. Its the life I've always wanted---to be young, free, and independent. Not having that made me bitter. But the truth is, I need to give myself more credit for my accomplishments. No I don't have that life yet, but I am attempting a biology degree which is a lot more rigorous and time consuming then the majors my friends graduated with. No, I don't have a lot of money to do the things I want to do (travel, concerts, etc) but I can pay my own bills. No, I don't get straight As. But I am the first to go to college in my family. My grandma hid tunnels in the grown in WWII while her island was being bombed, she came to this country without a high school education and spoke little english. My grandpa was a sharecropper and ran-away in fear of a white man trying to kill him. No, I do not have a boyfriend. But I am a pretty girl, with a great head on her shoulders, and an education. So what? I don't completely have my life together. But I am keeping it together, and I haven't given up yet. Not to say there aren't days where I don't feel like it. I need to recognize myself for what I do accomplish everyday, instead of complaining about what I don't do right. I don't have together right now, but I am a work in progress, and one day I will.

3. Have faith and stop worrying. i'm not going to lie. I kept telling myself "Things can only get better from here". And many times they continued to get worse. Yes, a complete slap in the face and a shitty shitty feeling. Every time I think I can breathe, there is just one extra thing that comes out of nowhere. Seriously. I've realized, there is nothing I could do about it. To stop worrying and to stop asking "when will things get better?" And to instead enjoy each day. Lets face it, its not like a bag of money is going to fall out the sky. Its not like my future husband knows where I live and is going to walk straight up to my door and announce his love. I decided to have faith and know that things will get better, not all of a sudden, but day by day. Find the happy things in each day. Don't stress about the bad ones, thats why tomorrow is a new day. 

2011 has taught me a lot; more than I could ever imagine. I've grown in ways un-imagineable. I was brought from a lifestyle of carefree living to stress and worrying, all within a few months. Yea, it sucked. But I proved to myself that I can handle anything. I proved to myself that I can indeed handle everything that comes with life. 2011 has been quite the emotional roller coaster. Of course I pray that 2012 will be a better year for me, and I already see things looking up. 

Having flaws makes you real

I haven't updated in a long time due to being busy & my life not being that exciting.  I will be finished with this semester in a little over a week. I am tired and I am drained, which is the story of my life.  I am a work in progress.

like a dream come alive; incredible

So busy & exhausted from life

I could use a break or vacation or both :)

Its just one of those weekends

I'm not having one of those days, I'm having one of those weekends. The thing is I'm perfectly fine with it, because I need some serious downtime. At the moment I am on antibiotics and fighting a crazy bacterial infection, I am on my period with my uterus feeling like its going to fall out, and I have three exams next week that I'm spending all my free time studying for. It is halloween weekend, and I am doing nothing to celebrate. I probably would not be having too much fun if I was out, which is why I am content with staying in. The truth is I need lots of rest right now.

The past few weeks have been good. My mind is usually all over the place with ideas and worrying. I realized how crazy I was being. I was seriously, freaking out about something that won't occur for another 8-10 years. Hah! So much stuff will happen in my life in that time span. I took a step back, and prayed to god to help me clear my mind. And he did. I've been thinking about things a lot less, and just enjoying life day by day. The future will come, but I need to enjoy the present!

taking the time

Its been a weekend of lots of work but I'm not done yet. I feel like I've been living at the museum these past few days. In fact, I actually worked 11 hours hours on Friday trying to finish things up and prepare for our opening. Overall our opening went great! We have over 3,500 attend and the whole street was closed off for a block party. There were vendors, performances, and food trucks. Overall, I'm in love with the new exhibit. There are some great pieces and cool artists that we are featuring. I'm still in amazement. My free time has been spent eating, shower, and working on hw.  I can't believe I didn't go out at all this weekend, and I'm glad I'm didn't. I've already been tired and drained, there is no way I would have been able to go out and party. I've also been sore even though I haven't worked out since Thursday. I'm planning on going on a run after work today.

But overall the past few days have felt good! Focusing on myself and keeping busy!

feeling different is okay

loving the warm weather in october

partying less is okay

trying new things is okay too

i've never been so sore in my life

i still get distracted no matter what

planning out my future<3

don't rush things, always let them take their course

actually looking forward to a busy weekend of work

wishing my skin would clear up

weekend re-cap

This weekend had to be close to perfect. What a lovely way to spend my last complete weekend off before going back to work. Friday was spent resting and then heading out downtown to dance for a friends bday, Saturday was spent at the farmers market in little italy and a bit of shopping downtown, and Sunday I worked all day, bought new shoes, and did some homework. Productive & Fun!

My main goal of October is to take care of myself, which I've definitely been doing. Mondays and Wednesday I tend to sleep in. I don't set my alarm clock and I just wake up whenever. Although its relaxing, I realized how much of much time I waste. I will now spend Mondays and Wednesday waking up and working out. The past week I've been running, hiking, and doing some strength training. My body has been one big ball of soreness. I've also cut back on going out so much...I feel like I'm kind of falling out of my partying days. I've never been a hermit, but now I would just love to spend quality time with someone special. And of course consuming less liquor will greatly help in my quest to drop a few pounds. I know with work starting up I'm going to be very tired anyways. I have to be at work Thurs-Sunday of this week. Its going to be madness but I'm excited to start working again.

PAUSE

Check out my new ring, and my favorite fall nail polish!

This past week was my breather week. I got lazy and rested after all the madness of last week. But now its time to get my shit back together. Lab reports, papers, and of course taking care of myself. I'm trying to focus on me this month. I'm excited to get back to work and make $$ again, and of course start my new position. I've started running again, am thinking about joining a gym, and have scheduled some doctors appointments. I'm trying to get better and start feeling better. Too many times I'm wrapped up in school and not about my body or me. Time to change that!

October Goals

Oh what a week its been, and I'm so happy its the weekend. I've been running around like a madwoman and living in the deep dark depths of the library. Two tests are down, and I have another one tomorrow and another on Tuesday. And then I can breathe! I plan on fully celebrating taco tuesday. But what the heck? I hate having midterms that feels like finals. Four exams in a matter of 6 days? Not cool. Too bad it happens again at the end of this month which means more than likely I won't be celebrating halloween. Lame sauce! And this is why I decided against going to optometry school. I complain about weeks like this when in reality I would have these types of weeks probably every other week. Yup, definitely couldn't do it.

Goals for October:

1. Eat healthier! I've seriously been feeling so sick to my stomach lately and I think its because of all the horrible food I consume. Around midterm/finals time its really bad. I need to work on that!

2. Schedule in a run 2x a week even if its not on the same days week by week

3. Be good at my job! My job re-opens in the middle of october. With the new exhibit, I'm going to have to re-learn everything. And I'm starting a new position. I want to start off strong from Day 1, even if that means studying everything a few days ahead of time to give our visitors the best experience.

4. Health! I've been holding off on schedule doctors appointments for the longest. I don't even know why. I'm not afraid of the doctors, but I feel trying to book an appointment is the hardest. Anyways, I really want to change things around. Start taking care of myself!

22nd Birthday

Today is my 22nd birthday, and I honestly do not feel any different. No gray hairs, no extra aches or pains. I do feel more wise though. Not because of my birthday....but because of how things have been lately. I think I've grown a lot over these past few months.

How was my year as a 21 year old? Absolutely amazing! Yea it was full of partying and having a good time. But overall I had some great experiences, I traveled, and I bonded even closer with my friends. I also learned some life lessons, and I proved to myself that I am a strong young woman. I went to Vegas, Dallas, New Orleans, and Cabo all within a few months.  I also had a a period where my car broke down, I worked two jobs, moved, and attended summer school. That was emotionally draining, but I made it through it. I started becoming closer to God again and he has helped me see so much.

What does 22 have in store for me? I don't really know. But I can only wish for the best. I hope to fall in love with a boy and meet lots of more life long friends. I hope to try new things and discover new hobbies. I hope to continue pushing myself in school. I know for a fact that I will be graduating as a 22 year old and more than likely I will be moving out of state on my own. Sure its going to be scary as hell, but thats life. Experience everything while you can. I will live by the motto as a 22 year old.

Parking tickets, bad news, and better news!

Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong?

I'm sure you have, we all have.

Well today, I had one of those days.

It started off by me running a little late this morning. And although I should have already been out the door, I took the trash to the dumpster since it was overflowing and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it until I came home later. I felt good doing the right thing.While driving to school there was a little traffic. I look down at my phone and see a text message from my friend saying "I hate you". How horrible right? Of course I pick up my phone to call them and ask why. My friend did not have a good reason, he just simply stated that he was tired of my only calling him late at night. Honestly he was being such a drama king. First off, yea I have been calling him late. But only for the past 4 days or so. I've been his friend for 6 years, and he knows I'm super busy with school. I don't have enough time to talk on the phone until its late and before I go to bed. For one week i've been busier than usual and he gets angry. And to top it off, why would that make you hate me? Pretty strong words for something so miniscule. And especially since he is 22! Could he not have handled it in a more mature situation, instead of sending just a blunt and evil txt message? But I didn't yell at him, I didn't get angry, I just kept telling him what he was saying wasn't making any sense and that he was being inconsiderate. As I realized this conversation is going no where, I hang up the phone only to see a police officer pulling me over. In case you don't know, its against the law in California to talk on the phone while driving. And the funny thing is I NEVER do. So the one time I talk on the phone in my car...... I get caught. Hello $140 ticket! Yup. I love how it comes right at the time where I'm not having any income brought it. Double whammy!

My whole morning just threw off my mood and I seriously considered just turning around and going home for the day. I was so very frustrated. I felt like my friend should have never text me. I felt like the officer could have let me off easy. But I sucked it up! I went to school and I got over it. I'm just going to suck it up and pay for the ticket. And most importantly, I'm going to have to cut negative people out of my life.....

The rest of my day got better. I saw my advisor and talked to her for an hour or so about life, the change in my future plans, and classes for the following semester. She was so happy for me and that made me feel good. I also thought I was going to have to take some random class in addition to my 4 major elective classes....but it turns out I don't! The only reason its on my student map is so that I can graduate with 120 units, but at the end of this semester I will already have over 120. Go me!!

Now I'm getting ready to watch an episode of jersey shore and relax!

productive tuesday

I'm not going to lie, on most Tuesdays I am a bit lazy. I go to school from 9:30-1:45pm, I try and get a little work done, and then I head out to the beach for Taco Tuesday. The truth is I might just being putting my taco tuesday on hold to celebrate a friends bday tomorrow. But I am very happy I took my Tuesday off to be productive and get somethings on my own done. After school I was able to make yummy pasta, went for a run, clean the house, make dinner, and relax a little. I feel good and I feel accomplished. Since I get to sleep in tomorrow (and because i'm taking this weekend to celebrate my bday) I'm going to stay up and get some much needed hw done.

Good things:
+ After not running (or any physical exercise) in over a month, I was still able to run over 1.5 miles straight. I can see myself running 2 miles within the next two weeks. Now if only I could make a stable workout schedule. I hate being a busy bee.
+ Eating healthier!
+ I got an A on my genetics quiz. If only I wouldn't have switched my answer last minute it would have been a 100%. But thank you redbull, 3+ hour library sesh, and my dear father for the strength and determination. I'm going to pull a major repeat next week for my 2 exams.
+ I've started a tumblr. I'm trying to get it going, so it will be a while before I post the link.

Sweet Dreams

Do you ever have those nights where you could sleep forever? I swear my bed has magical powers. As soon as I lay down I feel like I could sleep forever. And when I wake up the last thing I want to do is get out of bed. Actually, the problem has gotten so bad lately it has put me in bad situations (like being late!).  But last night I was able to sleep for a good 10 hours. And I felt like I dreamt about everything, and I woke up thinking those things had happened in real life. Then I realized they weren't true.....Even though I love having time to dream forever, I need to keep it to a minimum. Maybe once a week I will do it, but the other days I am going to have my alarm clock go off even if I don't have plans for the day.

The rest of my weekend was just as relaxing...and kind of moving. I had a boys night out on Saturday, as I was the only girl in the group. But its nice switching it up and just hanging with the guys. Saturday/Sunday also confirmed the people in my life and the relationships I share with them. I have pretty amazing friends in my life and I will continue to be a good friend and be there when they need me. Sunday I relaxed and watched football, and spent the night studying and doing homework.  Now its Monday again, but im sure it will be a good one!

Much needed night

Yesterday/last night was exactly what I needed in terms of a day off. In case you don't know I go to school Mon-Thur (and I'm on campus for AT LEAST 5 hours on each of those days) and then I work 9:30-4:30 on Friday-Sun. So I always have something to do and I'm always tired when I get home from school or work. The brightside is I have the next few weekends off! So yesterday was so nice. I went to a meeting for a little bit, came home and made tacos, went to the bank, and also to target and at night I was able to relax and take a shower by candlelight, lie in bed and red a magazine. Its so nice have a full day of relaxation.

Today since I don't have work, I'm meeting up with my friend Travis at a Cafe so I can help him with his personal statement. I'm also planning on editing mine a little if I can. If we get done early I'm going to head to the library at school to get some reading/studying done.

What else has been going on in my life lately?

+ A new henley from Target for only $15.00! I'm slowly prepping for fall and winter. They also have boyfriend cardigans for only $15.00 which I'm planning on getting also.

+ I've gotten back into working out. My body is feeling sore thanks to my beautiful 3 mile hike. I'm either going back today or running the lake.

+ Had an allergic rxn at school thanks to eating Thai food. That basically kept me on the couch all day Thursday. And I missed my hair appointment :(

+ Having my emotions played with...

+ Loving the halloween decor at target, it makes me want to through a halloween party

Birthday Wishlist

My birthday is in less than two weeks away and I can't believe I'm turning 22. My year of being 21 was pure amazingness, and I hope 22 brings just as much joy and rich experiences. Even though I'm still enjoying my partying phase and being able to drink legally, I do feel so much more grown. And more then ever I feel much more content with life and what I have. I can truly say I have everything I need in life right now. But like any girl I can still wish, so I decided to put together a wishlist of a few items that would be amazing to receive on my bday.

1. 1. Urban Outfitters waterfall ruffle duvet cover

2. A pink holga 

(I would love to start taking picture again)

3. Black lace up booties

The truth is, I will probably be buying these for myself in the near future.

4. Flowers

I haven't gotten flowers in almost 3 years. It would be nice to get some :)

weekend update

--We had a major black out in San Diego on Thursday afternoon/evening. It was a complete mess. I got stuck in the school parking lot for almost 3 hours. All the stores were shut down and so were gas stations. It was weird and it made it seem like it was the end of the world. The nice thing was that it made everybody take a step back from life and technology. My friends had bbq and so we ate, drank, and chatted amongst candle light, it was fun!

--I worked all weekend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But guess what? I have the next month off! Its going to be crazy. We made it through the last day of the exhibit :)

--Friday night I had a nice dinner downtown with the roomie to celebrate her bday. Can't believe all the bday celebrations have started and that mine will be here soon :)

--Loved seeing friends that I haven't seen in a while

--I'm starting my 2 weeks fast of no fast food/eating out; all my food must be from the grocery store. I've been eating way too horribly lately and have been wasting too much money.

thankful thursdays & facebook show-offs

I forgot which magazine I was reading but I came across an interesting article about facebook and facebook statuses.  The article basically stated how facebook can make us feel bad about ourselves because it serves as mechanism for bragging, and I couldn't agree more. I realized I too had fallen victim to facebook bragging. I'm sure you guys can look at your friends statuses from the past 24 hours and find plenty of examples. If its not about an amazing job promotion, its about having the most amazing and perfect husband, or taking an incredible trip to some exotic resort. When I see my friends writing those type of statuses it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything great and that my life is not that exciting. I find myself feeling bitter and jealous that I haven't received the same opportunities. Its okay to feel happy about your life and accomplishments, but its how you present it that makes it acceptable.  I know most people don't intentionally do it, but there does need to be awareness about the type of emotions it does stir up.

1.  My mom--I think me and my mom have a great relationship. Even though I don't see her very often we talk almost everyday. And even though I'm 21 she still treats me as if I think like a 16 year old. At the same time she has pushed me and forced me to experience life on my own, making me into an independent young woman. We also bicker like old women. I'm grateful to have a mom like her.

2. SF Crew--My new group of buddies! I've been having so much fun with them lately and I'm glad I have a group of new friends to hang out with.

3. Earlier this week I experience the most peaceful awakening from slumber. The sun shined through my window, the air was hot and sticky, and the rain gently dropped on the trees surrounding my window. It was as if I had woke up on a tropical island somewhere. I was grateful for such a beautiful and peaceful moment.

Labor Day Weekend

 (The jumpee at my job)

I must admit that this weekend feels long. But it is labor day weekend, and I have to get used to having no school on Fridays. This weekend has been full of work (20 hours) and hanging out with friends. I had a night out downtown with my new crew of friends, followed by breakfast in the morning, farmers market, and then heading to mission beach/pacific beach for bbqs and kick backs. Today the weather has been weird with random rain and thunder. It makes me just want to stay inside....which I probably should do. My room is a mess, the kitchen is a disaster, and I also have too much homework due this week that I should probably get started on. I want to have a nice relaxed day and take care of everything that I've been putting off.

Have a safe and fun labor day :)

September Beginnings & Thankful Thursday

It is officially September, my favorite month! Combine my birthday plus my 5 best friends birthdays, and you have the biggest month of the year. So many reasons to be excited for this month :) I also don't work very much this month as we are closing the museum in order to install and open up our new exhibit in October. So this is going to be a fun-filled and relaxing month. Speaking of the museum, we threw a big gala last weekend. Complete with a pink carpet and two open bars.  We made these crazy flowers out of paper and hung them up as decorations. We hung them up in a design both inside the museum and outside. It turned out really great, and it feels cool to be apart of such a amazing project :)

I was able to crash into another class today. So I am now at school from 9:30-1:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am now taking a class on stem cells! Crazy huh? I feel kind of smart, can't lie. The professor is nice but the class seems kind of boring. Then again its only the first week, so we will see. I already have so much reading to do. The cool thing is that I've officially already started my days in the library. I just get so much more done sitting in quiet study, instead of going home and being distracted by every little thing. Usually I dread the library, but I'm kind of enjoying it lately. Most of all I'm happy that this is my first semester of not having Friday classes. Thursdays are now my Fridays!

I'd thought I introduce my new feature: Thankful Thursdays. I've slowly been getting back into religion lately and have been trying to better myself little by little. I've been practicing having a forgiving heart and being a peaceful. I've also been attending online church. I hope to eventually obtain a more christian lifestyle. I thought I would compliment this transition by incorporating it into my blog. Every Thursday I would like to take the time out to discuss three things I am thankful for. Starting now:

1. Job Promotion. I can't describe how incredibly thankful I am for this even though I don't start till next month. But things have been so hard in this economy, and especially for my family. They just get worse and worse. For example, my mom now has furlough days which means shes losing a week's worth of money. I've only been working at the museum for 3 months now, so I'm glad they saw something in me. I feel proud and important as this is my first promotion. And making a little extra money won't be too bad either.
2. My Friends. I think I have some of the most amazing friends. We come from different walks of life but we are pretty much the same people. Not only do I have ridiculous amounts of fun when I'm with them, but there is zero drama, and they are always there when I need help. Amazing Amazing Amazing! I thank god he brought these people into my life.
3. San Diego. Everytime I'm driving to my friends houses on the beach I have this beautiful feeling come over me. I feel so blessed to live in such a beautiful city with laid-back people and plenty of things to do. Love it!

Now its time to put in some work in the library. But what are you thankful for this week? Or what are your thoughts about september being here?

super senior

So I've gotten through the first two days of school, which means I have attended all my classes. I guess I'm liking some of my classes and hating others. Its only 15 weeks right? 15 weeks seems like a long time when all I'm longing for is to be a college graduate with a nice job, living independently. This year just might be the longest year of my life and May 2012 cant come any sooner. Unfortunately, I did find out that I need to drop one of my classes. So tomorrow I will be running around like a mad woman trying to crash a class to replace the one I need to drop. boooo :(

I'm excited tonight! Its time for some good ol' taco tuesday fun with the girls. But first I need to head out to target, do some homework, and go to staples. Errands time!

first day of school and thoughts

Today is the first day of my fifth year of college. Oh the joys of being a super senior. I don't feel ready and it hasn't completely hit me yet even though my first class starts in less than 4 hours. I hope my classes aren't too bad even though they are all upper-division bio classes. I guess at this point I'm just scared of the stress. After last school year I realized how completely drained and stressed out I was. And no matter how hard I tried to get an A, it wouldn't happen. I knew a long time ago that the bio major wasn't for me, but I stuck through it. And now its kind of like I'm pushing to do something that I'm not really interested in. And what sucks is that its a hard major, so I work even harder and end up hating life because I can never be good at it or completely interested. Last year also made me realize that I did not want to pursue an additional 4 years of school, and so I decided to do an orthoptic fellowship. And even thinking about that got me scared. Knowing that if your not up to par after 3 months they can kick you out, or what about taking the national boards? Eeek! As you see failing and taking test scare the crap out of me.  But I know I will be fine. I need to stop worrying and put more faith and trust in the lord. This school year I'm going to work hard, not stress out too much, use my time wisely, and get on good terms with a professor. I will try to steer my posts away from talking about school too much.

This week:
+ buy all my textbooks ASAP
+ grocery shopping
+ stay on top of reading

This summer I....

learned how to cook a new meal
started a new job and got a promotion
bonded with my many co-workers
had friends graduate and move back home
i moved into a new condo
spent more time in PB and by the beach
had lots of laugh attacks with my amazing friends
had a whole month with no days off work
took two summer classes
went to the county fair twice
went to dave & busters for the first time
partied downtown more than i expected
had major car problems
woke up monday-friday at 5:30am
got many compliments on my hotpink watch
cut my hair into an aline again
worked with the cutest little kids
had a freakout about life and then got it together




I start my last year of school tomorrow. Sure this summer was a little rough, but i'm pleased with how it ended.

Friday Favorites--Turbans!

Hello Friday! So far this week has been full of:
working, evening walks on the beach, spending time with friends, babysitting, sitting up late in my room catching up with friends who are in-town visiting, line-dancing, having a new found liking for southern gentlemen, sleeping-in, warm weather, learning how to cook a new meal, cookies & ice-cream, having a very clean car, opening my heart, and praying lots.

I feel good and I feel happy.

I guess I can say I've ended my last week of summer exactly how I wanted. I have 3 days left until I start my last year of college. This weekend is going to be busy. We are having a huge gala at work tomorrow, so this week has been full of prepping. Today includes more prepping, and tomorrow I work an 11 hour day for the gala. The cool thing is that is carnaval themed, but I know I am going to be exhausted. It will be fun though :)

With school starting and the ending of summer, I've definitely been thinking about my fall/winter wardrobe. Unfortunately, my wardrobe is going to have to be put on hold for a little bit but I've already been coming up with a list of must-haves including: motorcycle boots, boyfriend cardigans, more leggings, feather accessories, and......turbans. Yes! How perfect are these to rock from fall right into winter? I'm in love.

1. freepeople

2. shopbop

3. etsy

On hold

I've been too busy enjoying the last days of summer and making the absolute most of it. I love my friends and all my experiences. Not ready to start school.

weekend recap

Things I did this weekend:
+ Worked at the museum Saturday & Sunday
+ Went out with my co-workers Saturday night, jumping around the gaslamp
+ Ate the worst sushi of my life (I guess cheap prices do reflect low quality)
+ Started my official Paris savings fund

Thoughts this weekend:
+ I'm now wanting school to start, even though I previously stated that I didn't
+ I'm looking forward to the month of September and lots of birthdays
+ My friends are amazing :)

Plans for this upcoming week:
+ Work a lot this week & attend a special gala
+ Baby sit an adorable little girl
+ Take advantage of this deal
+ Prepare lots for my last year of college

Friday Favorites--Feathered Friends

Oh what a week its been and its all so bitter sweet. Today was my last day working at the camp. I can't believe 11 weeks flew by so fast. I'm going to miss the kids and all the wonderful co-workers I grew close to this summer. Last night we had a potluck and it was a lot of fun. I made my seven layer taco dip, which I haven't had in forever :) We also played a big game of dodgeball and I got taken out by my supervisor haha. I'm sad to leave (especially since I've been here for 3 years) but I'm excited about not having to wake up at 5:30am anymore.

I have so many things to be happy about this week:
1. Getting an A in my summer class (I can mark it off my August goals)
2. Getting a promotion at my job which means more money :)))
3.  Being done with camp
4. In 10 days I start my last year of college

One trend I've been into lately are feathers :) First there were feather extensions, but now I'm loving feathered head-bands and earrings. And I love all the different styles of feathers there are. Some are vibrant and colorful for a more exotic look, while you can definitely rock a sophisticated look also. I've been dying to find the perfect pair of feather earrings but haven't found any yet. Soon! Here are some of my favorites.

Its a Friday night and there is no going out for me. I will be sorting through my room and cleaning stuff out. My room is literally out of control. And I'm ready to start saving for my paris trip :)

when a heartbreaks, no it don't break even

Its been 10 days since I last updated--my mistake. The past week in particular has been full of ups & downs. Lets just say I am now a single lady, and not by choice. Of course its rough, and every day has been different. One day I'm doing great, and the next day he is all I can think about. I wouldn't say I'm heart broken, but definitely bummed out. It wasn't a bad break-up, he just wasn't completely ready for a relationship. And I am not bitter because he honestly treated me so well. I'm just sad that I'm losing a best friend--we had the best times together. And even though he wanted to be friends, I told him I couldn't. I know it would hurt way too much. Overall I am fine, and time will continue to heal me. School starts in two weeks so once again I will be busy throwing myself into that. I might just be writing a guide on break-ups in the near future.

I also went home this past weekend to visit friends and family. It was great being back in the bay area this weekend after being gone for 8 months. I honestly felt like nothing had changed. Friday night was spent in SF with friends, Saturday was spent with family, and Sunday I had a sushi date with one of my friends. It went by so fast but I had so much fun. Being with friends after not seeing them for months or years, is amazing. I love that we can just jump back into things as if we never left each others sides. I'm so blessed to have so many beautiful and amazing friends in my life.



Tonight I need to type of my study guide (last exam of the summer), watch true blood and jersey shore, and clean up this mess of a room.

raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways

I am not perfect & I am full of flaws

I am the queen of falling down

I often can't form complete sentences

I sweat like a sinner in church

I'm bad at texting back

I always end up in crazy situations

I always make silly faces

I sing obnoxiously loud all the time

I have the hair like that of a lions mane

My arms are scrawny and weak

But I am me and that will never change

Its Jerseday!

Yes, I am addicted to jersey shore and I am so excited for the season premiere tonight.

baby im a be your motivation

How cool is the background of my photo? I was at work in our creative lab. The shelves are lined with random items and across from me are empty mason jars to collect peoples ideas and creativity. I love my job and how cool it is. Its always inspiring people to get creative. Yesterday was a long day. I had to work both jobs, I stuck around at the museum to do homework (pictured above), and then we had a going away party for my supervisor. I came home and was absolutely exhausted from being gone for over 12 hours.

I'm sad I missed out on such a hot day today, even though I told myself I was going to take advantage of it. But a much needed nap was calling my name and then i had to head to school to take my exam. Oh boy, I didn't do too hot. The test significantly dropped my grade :( Well I guess I have the last test, my project, and the extra credit to still get the grade I want. Always look on the brightside :)

a career in orthoptics

The past few months have been an ever lasting struggle to figure out what I want to do after college. I had always been so set on what I wanted to do. But these last few months things changed along with my mindset. I came to realize that I wanted something different with my life. I want to be young and travel, I want to start a family before I'm 30, and I don't want to be almost $100,000 in debt before I even start my first day of work.  But trying to zero in on what exactly I want to do has been tougher then ever.

I've finally come to the decision that I would like to pursue a career as an orthoptist. What is an orthoptist? In simple terms an orthoptist is a physical therapist for the eyes. They treat visual problems such as lazy eye and double vision. They usually work along side opthamologist to come up with treatment plans for their patients. Its only two years after college and all I need is my bachelors degree. The perfect option for me at this point. Applications are due in March so I will be spending all of my winter break preparing my applications. I'm excited and scared but I think I have a good chance of getting accepted into one of the programs. The only thing is that there is only one program in California, and I cannot afford to live in LA. So I'm going to have to pack up and move to another state. I'm also going to have to find a way to live. I wouldn't qualify for a conventional loan. They do have special loans for the program, but I think they only give out 2 a year. Yikes! But I'm not going to let that stop me. If its meant to be then I will find a way.  I'm scared but excited!

August

I cannot believe its August. It feels like summer is slowly coming to an end, because 4 weeks from today I start school again. I can't believe how fast this summer has went by. Maybe its because I worked my butt of this summer. I really wish I could take a vacation by the end of this summer, but I don't really seeing that happening. I just pray and wish for August to be a good and relaxing month.

So this month I have a set of goals just like any other month. I want to prepare myself for my last year of college and feel good about myself physically and emotionally. Even though I am dreading this last year of school, I want to be feeling good entering this last year.

1. Be able to run 3 miles
2. Plan my Vegas trip for fall
3. Shadow an orthoptist
4. Get an A in my online class

Friday Happiness =)

New Padres Shirt from Target

1. Made my schedule for the fall semester. Can't believe this is my last FALL semester as a college student. Does it feel bitter sweet? Not really, I'm ready to be done with school. I guess I'm ready for the next phase of my life

2. Missing the boy and his silly-ness so much

3. Booked my plane ticket home. Say What? So excited to see my family and friends. I haven't been home in almost 8 months. I plan on seeing and doing as much as possible.

4. Padres game (and beer) with the roomies tonight =)

Looking forward to a weekend of resting and catching up on school work. What are you guys looking forward to this weekend?

she killed it with kisses

Yes its Zach Galifinakis, some high schooler did this at the museum!

spaghetti dinner yumm

ive been running lake murray this week 

This is the first time all summer I can say that I am bored. Well kind of. I mean I still have things to do, I'm just in no rush to get them done. Yesterday, I made a to-do list while I was sitting down at work and by the end of the day I got EVERYTHING done. It felt so good being able to cross things off as I got them done. Today my to-do list is not quite as big. I have a few phone calls to make, but I'll do that when I get out the shower. I am excited for Taco Tuesday with the girls tonight, and hopefully I will see the boy a little bit later.

The rest of my week should be pretty chill and I am so excited to have this weekend off! I haven't had a saturday off in so so long! I honestly don't know what to do with myself. It just sucks because I know some people will be out of town and others will be working. Even though I am taking advantage of all this time relaxing, I also need to get my game plan together on applying to graduate schools. I have no idea where I see myself next year. But I know I will be fine and things will come together.

weekly wrap up

What a week its been & a very good one at that. I no longer find myself wishing for the weekends to come, because my week days are just as good.  Its 8:30am on a Sunday morning but it feels so good. I am well-rested and happy. My sleeping schedule is out of wack since I stay up late (12:30ish) and then wake-up 5:30 for work. I come home and nap because I'm so tired, and then repeat the cycle over again. But last night I stayed in and had some much needed me time. I went to bed early and slept forever. I honestly have not felt this well-rest in a long time. 

Wednesday I had my first exam for my womens studies class and scored a 102%! I was very excited about that, especially since I busted some last minute hard work. I then celebrated by having a girls night complete with quesadillas and margaritas, which turned kind of crazy on my part. I had to go home early haha. Thursday I worked both jobs but the day still went by kind of fast. Then the boy made me dinner and we had wine and watched a movie. We stayed up a little too late and I knew I was going to be tired the next day. So we already planned a nap day on Friday. Yup, we literally slept all day Friday to catch up on our sleep. Dorks! Yesterday I worked all day and then came home to clean and rest-up. Today I don't have much planned, just another day at work. I'm then planning on going to bed bath and beyond for some goodies. And of course true blood comes on tonight! Overall, this weekend has been full of comicon madness downtown. The hoards of people, the crazy costumes, oh and even celebrities sightings. Thomas lennon from reno 911 stopped in my job yesterday :)


Things to accomplish this week:
1. Pay all bills
2. Go to the DMV for a new ID
3. Set-up doctors appointments
4. Set-up a time to shadow for orthoptist
5. Come up w/ a game plan of things I need to do before I apply for fellowship

productive tuesday

Yesterday was a good day that turned crazy. I had a busy but fast day at work followed by hours spent soaking up the sun at the beach. I went up to la jolla with some friends to a beach i've never been to before. Even though there was quite a bit of seaweed everywhere, it was still a peaceful and relaxing day. Did I mention I am a big fan of beach naps? I love waking up to my body feeling warm and me feeling well-rested. Good thing I don't burn easily.

Then my evening got pretty crazy. It turns out my refrigerator just died on us and we have to get a new one and throw out all our defrosted food. Thank god we found a deal on craigslis. The rest of the night was spent cleaning and catching up on my summer school class.

Today was relaxing and we were able to get our new refrigerator. It just sucks that I had to throw out about 95% of our food because it had all defrosted or gone bad.  Oh and we found a dead mouse under our refrigerator, it was awful. Tonight, I have the house to myself which means it should be a quiet and productive night of just studying and getting ready for my test tomorrow.

weekly wrap-up

(via wehearit)

1. This week I spent a lot of time with friends. I'm glad we have been able to work our schedules around each other to spend time together. We went shopping, looked for apartments, saw harry potter, and went out at bars, etc. I enjoy spending time with my friends and I ALWAYS have a good time when I'm with them. So blessed to have lovely ladies in my life. 

2. This week I started my online summer class which I have somehow already put on the back burner. Tomorrow i'm going to start going on to campus so that I can actually catch up on reading and get things done. I can't believe I have my first test on Wednesday.

3. I treated myself to new shorts and shoes. I need to stay away from shoes and buy more tops! When will I learn? 

4. I'm learning how to trust people again and we will see how it goes...

Satur-DAY

(A pic from last night)

This is my first time having a saturday day off. I usually work all day on saturdays, but instead im working a night shift (I'm working at a wedding). Its strange because I don't really know what to do with myself.  I've been enjoying sitting on the couch :) But I think its time to take care of some errands.

Saturday to-do list:

+target

+online discussion posting

+shopping

I still plan on going out tonight and can't wait to see a friend that i don't get to see often. What do you guys do on saturdays?