In January I rang in the new year in a sloppy kind of drunk mess. Had to take care of some friends but I still would never forget it. I also had my first new years kiss in a few years. A few days later I traveled to Dallas to visit my brother and his family. We then embarked on the most epic road trip to New Orleans. We hit some pretty major cities such as Dallas-Austin-Houston-Galveston-New Orleans. We ate mufalettas and shrimp etfufee, drank grenades, and danced the night away. He also couldn't handle his liquor which ended up in me having to learn how to drive stick-shift through the backroads of Louisiana. I started another semester of college and finally declared my biology major after 3.5 years of school work. I got extensions and loved it :) I also tried ballet for the first time in about 15 years. I also finalized my plans to go to Cabo for spring break with my friends. January was a pretty happening month!!
In February I ordered some betsey johnson goodies for myself since I had credit on amazon.com. I started the application process to obtain my passport in order to go to Mexico. On the downside I got a horrible sinus infection and I spent valentines day alone thanks to being single and have 2 exams. I was running a lot and trying to watch what I ate. I also camped out all night for basketball tickets to our school's biggest game of the year.
In March I complained a lot about how much I disliked my biochem lab. But I obtained my passport and was one step closer to spring break. I started contemplating about what to do after college as my dreams of optometry school seemed out of reach due to financial issues. I took a road trip up to Ventura with my roomie and a few days later I left for the most epic spring break trip of my life! I went on a 5 day cruise of san diego to cabo san lucas with 7 of the most amazing friends. No drama! Just relaxing, tanning, and drinking. Hands down a vacation I will remember for the rest of my life.
In April I started thinking more and more about my future. I stopped caring less about money and more about my happiness. Unfortunately, a good guy friend of mine overstepped his boundaries and we ended our friendship. I just spend most of the month focusing on school and studying.
In May I was able to get a second job for the summer which turned into a job that I ended up keeping. I stressed out over finals more than usual thanks to my computer crashing on me. The majority of my friends graduated and some moved away. I started getting into a funk that remained with me for the remainder of the year. I felt like a complete mess all the time.
In June things really seemed to take a toll for the worst. Within a few days I had started 2 jobs, summer school, moved into a new condo, and my car broke down. That made me incredibly stressed out, to the point where I was breaking down everyday. I was however completely thankful for the people in my life and all their help! I couldn't have done it without them! I started talking to a boy that I liked a lot.
In July I could breathe a little bit easier. My car was back and money was a little bit better. I had gotten a hold of everything in my life, but not 100% completely. I was still in a funk. I started a relationship and had someone new to spend time with. Usually summer has been carefree and fun, but it never quite felt like summer.
In August I felt myself falling apart more. I was so angry about how everything was going with my life. I wanted to be happy. But instead I felt angry that I was still in school, angry that I worked two jobs and was still broke, angry that I couldn't even keep a boyfriend (yup he broke up with me). I went home to visit my family, and went out to SF for a fun night with friends. I also got a new position at my job that paid more. And at the end of the month I started school even though I was completely dreading it and so over it.
In September school took over my life once again. I couldn't stand the fact that I still had to study like crazy all the time. I mentally would beat myself up. Things finally hit me when I realized my friends who had moved would not be coming back for the school year. I started talking to the ex again. I turned 22 and my birthday was a complete disaster to the point where it made me never want to celebrate another bday.
In October the museum was shut down to put in a new exhibit so I was off work for a few weeks. I ended up getting a bacterial infection from my lab and had to go to the hospital. I didn't celebrate halloween because I had 3 exams the following week.
In November a friend came to visit for a few days. I didn't have too much time to complain about how much I hated school because I was busy studying like crazy and working on various projects. I went home for almost a week for thanksgiving.
In December I worked like a mad-woman the first few weeks thanks to finals and the end of the semester. I barely worked and had my co-workers cover my shifts so that I could study. I ended up doing really well on my finals and grade wise for the semester. I came home for a week and celebrated christmas at my aunt and uncles new house. The rest of my break consisted of being lazy and relaxing.
I'm not going to lie, my year started off amazing and then started going down hill. I don't expect life to be perfect, but for once I felt out of control of my own life. I started taking a step back and looking at all of my blessings instead of looking at what went wrong or "what if" something else had happened instead. It was overall a growing experience. I proved to myself that I was stronger than I've ever known. And even though I was angry and felt like giving up-- I didn't, I kept going. There is so much to look forward to in 2012 and so much that is unknown. If you ask me, where do I see myself in 6 months? I couldn't give you an answer. I don't know if I'll be in California or living in another state. I don't know if I'll be working or in school. So much is up in the air. But thats what makes life exciting, you can only plan so much because you don't know what will happen. Its all it gods hands.
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