LA + Beach time

Can't believe this weekend is already ending, but it was the perfect mixture of business and pleasure. On Friday after work I headed up to LA to take an exam for a laboratory position I applied for. The test was 8:00am Saturday morning, and I arrived about 30 minutes early. When I arrived I saw the parking lot was full and that there were dozens of other people walking to the front of the school (where the test was taking place) also. As I approach the entrance a guy directs me to the correct line, since there were multiple exams going on that day. But oh man there were over 100 people in my line! Talk about nerve-wrecking. And honestly the test was pretty hard. They tested on organic chemistry concepts which I didn't expect, and which was my least favorite class in college. And there were questions about things that I never learned in college. Overall, I don't think I did so hot. I'll get my results in the mail shortly. Again, another learning experience. Next time I will study more! But I really think I'm going to start reviewing old college books and notes every night in order to stay on top of some things.  And now I have a good idea of what type of questions that will ask on these types of exams.

The same day I ended up driving to the Pacific Palisades to meet up with a college friend of mine. We got to catch up over lunch in Santa Monica. And then it was back on the road to San Diego. Unfortunately, I got stuck in horrible LA traffic. I mean ridiculous. It took me an additional hour to get back to San Diego. I guess I was exhausted from the drive because all I did was crash the night I got home.

This morning I woke up next my amazing boyfriend and for once (he loves to cook) we decided to go out for breakfast. So we tried this new restaurant called the mission in the east village area of San Diego. The wait wasn't too bad and the food was seriously amazinggggg! Our portions were huge, and neither of us were able to finish our dishes which is saying a lot. The rest of the day included napping and heading to La Jolla for a beach day with my man. Oh and of course I ended the night with some true blood. What a crazy finale! They always leave me ready for the next season. Summer 2013, why do you have to be so far away?

And tomorrow I am a lucky girl, because I have the day off. I am planning on taking full advantage of it! Hello gym time, errand time, crafting time, laundry time, cleaning time, and job applying time! I have a feeling its going to be a productive but sweet day.

My week off

It was a nice and relaxing week off, and I enjoyed spending all the free time.

Late night swims

Dancing

Road trips to LA

Nights out with the co-workers

Applying to jobs and internships

Lots of kisses from my boy

Walks along the beach

Home cooked meals from scratch

Reading the bible

Now its back to the real world and working. I'm still on the search to find more jobs and internships. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. 

twists & turns

So, after 1.5 days of working at my new job...I quit. Yes, I quit. Unfortunately, the position just isn't what I expected. As an administrative assistant I thought I would be doing a variety of tasks including paperwork, copies, filling, writing emails/letters, and making phone calls. But the past day(s) I've been doing nothing but answering the phone every time it rings, along with every other employee at the company. It was just not what I expected, and I wish I would have asked in more detail what my job responsibilities would have been. I was already miserable and it was my second day, I could see no way that I could continue. So I quit...and therefore I am back on the search.

Fortunately, I was able to contact my old job and will be put back on the schedule for next week. But I still need to be actively looking for another position. And since I have the rest of the week off, I am planning on waking up every morning, heading to starbucks and sitting in the corner with my coffee while I apply for as many jobs as possible.

I guess this was just another learning experience from the beginning of my adult life. I am determined to get this life of mine under control and down by my birthday. No more pushing the deadlines back!

This Weekend

 This weekend I.....

Enjoyed two days off (rare!), prepared for my man's bday, spent time at the beach, walked along the pier, made plans for next summer, pulled off a surprise evening for J's bday, had a night of drinks and dancing with friends, enjoyed a yummy Italian lunch, sweated way too much from the heat wave, ran/caught up on errands, watched the last of olympics games, napped from being tired from the heat.

Tomorrow I wake up early to start my new job! I am experiencing a rush of feelings: excited, nervous, disbelief, etc. This will be my first time in my life working full-time for one job. Of course I've been working 40-55 hours week between 2 jobs this entire summer, but now I get to focus my attention on just one position. I'm ready to give it my all, and make it through this probationary phase so that I can get the raise and hopefully move out of my place and start saving up for a new car. Wish me good luck on this new endeavor.

Living & Learning

(Me hiking Cabrillo Monument in Point Loma)

With so many things changing in my life at this moment...I feel like I am truly growing up. And with that comes making decisions-- important decisions. Decisions that cannot be catergorized as right or wrong, but decisions that can truly change the direction of my life. It's been hard for me to make these decisions, because it all comes with fear of the unknown and fear of not knowing what will happen in the end. Thats life though. Sometimes we know we want, but we don't always get it. Our lives can take completely different directions than what we may have planned for ourselves. 

So I am slowly learning to make those decisions, and learning from both the good and the bad that may result. I am taking everything as a lesson and experience. I have no idea where this life of mine will take me. But I am accepting this unknown journey and I am learning and becoming a better, more intelligent, and more well-rounded woman from it.

words to live by: growing from the past

I can say that this past year (summer 2011-summer 2012) has been an extremely tough year for me. I was at my all time low, and every factor of my life seemed to be hitting me hard. That summer I was optimistic about moving away from campus in a great condo, and having two jobs which would allow me to finally start saving up for a trip abroad. But things did not go that way at all. It all started in June 2011 when within a week I had moved into a new place, started two jobs, and the transmission in my car went out. Needless to say I was extremely stressed and also broke due to just moving. Eventually my car got fixed, but I was still in a financial bind. What made it better was a new guy I was seeing that eventually turned into a relationship. For once my love life was going right.

But within a month things turned sour again. He had broke up with me and didn't explain himself, he just ignored me which is the worst feeling. And even though I spent thousands on getting my transmission replaced, my car still continued to give me problems. And although I was busting my ass at two jobs and not even having a day off, I was still extremely broke.  I was stressed, confused, and hating my life.

By the time summer had ended I was a mess. I was bitter that I would be starting school again because if I was finished, I would be able to work and not be broke. I still worked whatever days I didn't go to school which was nice but meant no real days off. And somehow I got in contact with my ex again and we started talking again. The school year was such a mess for me and my self-confidence. I hated school and it drove me insane. I forced myself to study and hated it, because I felt like I should be working. The majority of my friends had graduated the year before and I saw them go off and get jobs and start the next chapter in their life. My car still gave me multiple problems, costing me more and more money. And still I kept talking to my ex....feeling some sense of importance because someone was interested in me. Even when I had found text messages to other girls, I still stuck around. I was stupid and didn't realize it till later on. What a blow it took to my self-esteem and image. I felt hopeless, unmotivated, and out of control of my life.

Eventually things did end with him. I got tired of making all this effort, when he could just sit back. So when I stopped, everything stopped between us. School still drove me nuts, but I knew I had just a matter of weeks left. So I used all my strength to keep going, even if it drove me insane. And shortly after I started talking to a nice young man that is now my boyfriend. In the end...I made it! I graduated with my bachelors in biology and finally had a healthy and happy love life.

And I was happy for a while afterwards, but I let anxiety and worry get the best of me this summer. I found myself not being happy because I was still broke (again working two jobs, but this time between 40-55 hours a week). I thought it would be somewhat easy to land a decent job outside of graduation considering I live in a large city and because of my major. And even though I was sending out multiple applications a day, days would turn into weeks, and weeks into months and I wouldn't hear anything back. I was extremely jealous and bitter at all the fun activities and vacations my friends got to partake in because they had the money. And even though I was in this great relationship and really happy with my boyfriend, I still would have this fear in the back of my mind that he would leave me for his ex-gf, since they had shared a history being on-off. It took me a while to realize that that fear had stemmed from my past relationship with my ex, and me still talking to him even though he was talking to other girls. It had made me feel not good-enough, not pretty-enough, not funny-enough, etc. Just everything about this past year had left me feeling weak and fragile, both emotionally and mentally.

But I feel like its time to embark on this new chapter of my life. I can't change the past year, I can only learn  from it. And as much as I hate to admit it, it will always have an effect on me and my esteem. But I am working so hard on that. And I know that I will be able to grow from it. I am working on being more positive and giving myself more credit. I am pretty, I am strong, and I can do anything. I need to stop worrying about tomorrow, accept what I have, and be thankful for it. I have a lot to look forward to in this crazy thing called life.

+Positivity

So I have very good news my friends.......

I GOT A FULL-TIME JOB!

Yes it is true! And I am still kind of in shock...but I am now an administrative assistant for a local pest control company.  Its an 8:00-5:00 Monday-Friday which means I will get my weekends back! If I pass the probationary phase after 45 days, I will then get a raise and benefits. I am happy that finally someone has seen something in me and has decided to give me the chance. I finally landed a big-kid job after finishing my bachelors and now I can say that it feels like my life is coming together.