THE FIRST WEEK

The first week of 2014 has already been working on me and refining me in many ways. Although there were some tears, pain, and heartbreak there has also been a lot of learning, discovery, and growth. I'll start off by saying that I was incredibly hurt by the one person I loved more than anything else on this earth. Promises were broken, lies were told, and all of a sudden their apologies no longer meant anything to me. Actions do speak louder than words. I used to think that there were some people who would never let you down, no matter how hard things got. But oh how I was proven wrong.

In reality, this situation has completely freed me. It freed me of all the frustration and worry I had been experiencing daily for the last few months.  And how good it felt to finally feel free, and not come down crashing and burning.  I had to let go. And I just put everything into perspective. I realized how I wanted to live my life and what I wanted to do with it. I live such a blessed and amazing life, and I refuse to ever forget that.

I'll never stop being an independent woman. Yes, I am 24. Yes, I have my shit together. Yes, I have a bachelors degree in science. Yes, I have a career.  I know those factors are hard to come by in this day and age. And I never try to make myself feel better or above anyone. But if you're a guy who can't handle a strong woman, then we shouldn't be together. Especially when I have loved, encouraged, and supported your goals and dreams since day one.

I refuse to feel inadequate again. Yes, I am far from perfect. I can point out so many flaws. That bump in my nose, my tinea versicolor, and my annoying laugh. But I know I offer a lot of great things too. I'm a great listener and I'll try my best to make you happy even if that means putting your own happiness above my own. I'm tired of comparing myself to other people. I am constantly a work in progress, and I just want to be the best version of myself (emotionally, physically, intellectually, etc.) I know I have a lot to offer and be proud of.

I want to do what makes my heart full. That means volunteering, praying and praising Jesus, traveling, hangouts with friends, trying new things, and trying to spread love to the one that love me for who I am. This also means that I want to let go of all the negative things in my life, the things that serve me no purpose but pain.