Its funny how much can change within a year. When put into perspective, a year really isn't that much time in comparison to our life spans. I think by your mid-20s you undergo a great deal of change. When you are younger the change is gradual. But in your 20s the "life-changing" events take place, all of them considered a big deal. Some of those big events happened to me in 2013, I saw and felt my life drastically change. I grew in ways substantially, not knowing of my growth until looking back and reflecting on the experiences I have undergone the past few months. Although, at times I felt weak, I know because of these experiences where my heart lays, and because of that I am a stronger person.
2013 started off with a bang for me! I moved to a new city, started a new job, bought a new car, and started living on my own (no roomies), all within two weeks. Yes, it was a bit crazy. But it definitely was a sign of growing up. I was so happy and felt so blessed to have been given an offer for my dream job, and I ran with it and everything that came with it. Of course in the beginning, everything was shiny and new and I was getting used to my new way of life. But as time passed and I settled in, I began to see more of what life was and how different things felt. My position was great (and still is) but over time I felt myself becoming bored because my position had become so routine. The whole reason I had picked the job was because it gave me balance and variety, and I knew everyday would be different. But once I got into it I realized how this wasn't exactly true, and I found myself becoming bored and unchallenged. Living on my own was something that went a lot better than expected. I thought I would be scared and lonely, but after having some bad roomie experiences before, this was quite a nice break. The biggest adjustment was paying ALL the bills on my own (along with adding on a new car bill and student loans). I was a little stressed out at first, but I slowly got used to learning how to live on a budget. This is definitely one thing that has allowed me to grow up and experience the real-world. Because even though we hate to admit it, its expensive just to live, and learning how to live on less money than we make is
very important. Once I explored my new city of residence I realized there was nothing for me there. It was lacking everything that I loved about my old city had (beaches, hiking, nightlife, great restaurants, museums everywhere, lots of free activities, etc). To make things, I didn't meet any new friends. Still to this day (almost after a year of moving here) I do not have any new friends. Its not that I haven't tried as I have taken dance classes, tried online meet-up groups, and even signed up for a kickball league (that fell through because of low registration). So I've tried to get adjusted to this city and be apart of it, but after much failure I know I don't plan on living here for too long. But the point is I tried this new adventure, learned more about what I desire for myself and my life, and will be changing things to fit that.
I would say that the second biggest thing that defined my year was a failed relationship. This is still something to this day that I am emotionally battling with. I started off this year at an all time high, being a recent college graduate, having a new full-time job, and being in a solid relationship with a guy that I loved.
What more could a girl ask for? The fact that we had to do semi-long distance (1.5 hours away from each other), didn't really bother me because I knew it could be worse. The fact that we were busy with our own lives (him with school and me with work), meant that would could live and grow on our own as necessary but still maintain a solid relationship. But half way through the year, he ended the relationship. It completely came out of no where, as I saw no signs that our relationship was going bad. I was hurt and devastated, and never felt so completely alone in my life. Being in a new city, with no friends near by, and family six hours away, was
the absolute worst. Usually we have someone there to keep us busy and keep our mind off the break-up. I had no one. I spent too much time picking myself apart "Am I not pretty enough? Fun enough? Smart enough?" I thought I might break, fall back into depression. But I didn't. I'm not sure how I did it, but I made it through. The funny thing was that me and him kept in contact after the break-up, doing some weird type of relationship. But I even let myself get hurt in that situation. The lies, dishonesty, and mistrust. For 2014, I am ready to rid myself of this situation
completely. I am ready to just let go and move on. I've learned not to expect anything for anyone. And someone that you think that could never hurt you, most likely will and in ways you never expected. I've also learned that I deserve more. If I give myself 110% in a relationship, I should get the same back. I am not the type of girl who expects a guy to buy me jewelry or a louis vuitton purse. But from this experience I do expect someone to pay for dinner, plan out dates, and make an effort to see me. If he can't do these things, then me and him should probably not be dating. Simple as that. I deserved to be loved and appreciated.
But I am happy I ran my first half-marathon, started saving money, stayed in contact with friends and family, and visited new cities. I am looking forward to accomplishing more in 2014!
